Simon Stockley, Who can't be
named for legal reasons
Fat man gets stuck in thin doorway
A fat men got stuck in a thin doorway
yesterday, it was claimed.
Simon Stocky of
Wolverhampton apparently got stuck while trying to exit from
a shop in Manchester City Centre. The shop, which can't be named
for legal reasons, is believed to be part of the Top Man chain.
Simon Explained: "It was like something out of
a comedy program. Like Porridge or something. It was like
Father Ted. Only with me... and a door... and without
priests or the Irish."
Stocky, who can't be named for legal reasons,
it expected to sue for post traumatic stress disorder.
"I was mortified. It was like a horror
film. It was like being at the circus. My lawyer expects
that I could get thousands, which is a lot of money. Then I'd be
rich and that would be like Dynasty or Dallas or something."
"You'd think they would make the doors in
these shops normal size, instead of really thin. It was a disaster
waiting to happen. And it happened to me when I got stuck in the
doorway."
"It was like Father Ted, the good life
and It ain't Half Hot Mum all rolled into one"
Stoc?ley quipped.
It's thought that Stockly, who is 63 stone,
may have been the victim of a practical joke.
Local shop owner Kimberly Thomson told us:
"This is the third time in a few months that a fat person has gotten
themselves stuck in a thin door. These doors should be a regular
size which make some of us think that they may be being tampered with."
Top Shop, which can't be named
for legal reasons
We put this theory to structural engineer
Granthem Wiseman who told us: "It's possible that someone has broken
into the shopping centre in the middle of the night and altered the
width of the door. This would involve some extremely clever
mechanical equipment, and expertise that would be far beyond anything
currently available anywhere on the planet."
Mr Wiseman continued: "Or, the guy may just be
really fucking fat."
