Father forced to hand back ‘Worlds Greatest Dad’ mug after failing random drugs
test
Father of 4, Ted Steadyboat’s reputation
as a great dad appeared to be in taters last night as it emerged that the
devoted dad and husband had tested positive for a performance enhancing
drug.
Such was Mr
Steadyboat’s fathering aptitude that he was recently presented with a
prestigious ‘World’s Best Dad’ mug to celebrate. The mug was awarded to
him by his 4 children for his devotion and hard work in the pursuit of a
perfect home. His children: Mary (15), Tom (13), Claire (7) and
Lewis (4), where believed to be distraught with the news.
The eldest, Mary, told us: “We’re all
devastated.One minute you’re the perfect family,
then the next thing you know you’re life is in ruins.
All because of someone who we all trusted turning out to be a big, fat
cheat.”
Mr Steadyboat, or ‘Super Dad’ as he was also
referred to, was presented with the mug 2 months ago on his 42 birthday.
The mug was in recognition of 16 years of his life devoted
to the upbringing of his children;Working 10 hours a
day and still finding time to be with each of them, before spending a
passionate night with his wife, fulfilling her every desire.
Mr Steadyboat off hit tits on caffeine
The tests seem to suggest, though, that the
respected chartered accountant was heavily intoxicated with the drug
‘Caffeine’.A drug know for its performance enhancing
qualities.
Eldest son Tom told us: “It’s easy to work 10
hours a day, 6 days a week in soulless job to get enough money to give
us everything we could possible want, when you’re smacked off your tits
on Carte Noire.”
“What ever happened to good old fashioned
honesty?I mean, why can’t people just devote there
every second to the pursuit of making there thankless children happy
without having to do this shit.It makes me sick,
“he continued.
"He’s
not a real dad, he’s just a big fat cheat."
Daughter
Mary, 15.
Ted Steadyboat’s wife, Kate, has spent the day
consulting the family lawyer and it’s believed the couple are
considering a trial separation.Kate spoke briefly:
“As you can imagine, this is something that I’m sure no family would
wish to go through.It’s bad enough having an uncle
who is paedophile and a cousin who was one of the 9/11 terrorists, but
having to deal with this as well is just too much to take.”
